today is 1st April 2010....another 19 days i will officially be an adult but dunno for what reason i do not get excited when it's reaching my birthday soon....maybe the reason is i know you will not be there to celebrate it with me...and also that i still cant accept the fact that we are already not in relationship and you will not be there for me to talk to when i have problem in the future...

been emotional tired due to i have cried to sleep these two day and having to act like i'm very fine to everyone around me....even family...dont want them to worry for my especially my mum....she will think i will go smoking and drinking like i did before...although i though of getting myself drunk to forget all the sorrow...didn't know i will be so weak and useless when come to relationship problem.....but dun worry no matter how weak and useless i am, i will not get myself into smoking and getting drunk (cause i might go drink abit) because i have respondsibility privately and at work....

just hopping i will get to accept that we are no longer able to share our happiness and sorrow tgt soon so that i will not be so distracted for both work and privately life......

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